It’s an awful fucking show and I hate it but it always surprises me with a constant stream of hilarious stupidity and I am having a fucking blast with it. My sister-in-law and I were watching like, the entire second season.

I’m super disappointed that the third season isn’t on Netflix because it’s running right now but I don’t wanna pay whatever the hell I have to pay to get new episodes from the CW, even though the third season features some Dungeons and Dragons Satanic Panic craziness in 2018 which is the most bonkers move that I could imagine for the show to make, and it made it, and I’m so proud of them, and I’ve already sworn my eternal undying loyalty to the Gargoyle King and I can’t wait for him to ask me to murder Principal Weatherbee.

Fucking look at this guy. How can you not immediately wanna sell your entire soul to him? God, all I want is for Archie to join his cult for some dumb reason like they’re blackmailing Veronica or some shit and I want to watch him wearing black robes and hoods during his initiation ceremony while some kinda inappropriate pop song plays (is sung by Veronica in a different place entirely for a montage!) and Jughead narrates some lame bullshit about how the darkness that swallowed Archie is now spreading out unto the entire world, and that no one is safe from the Gargoyle King that’s inside their hearts or something. GOD I HOPE I GET TO SEE THAT WITH MY TWO EYES